I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
