Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
