I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
