This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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