I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
