i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Randomize
