Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
