there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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