You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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