You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
