Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
