With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
