dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
