listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
