He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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