DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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