Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
