That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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