My first STD was from a foam party
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize