I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
