that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
