Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
