where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
