i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize