And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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