dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
