oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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