My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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