PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
