This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
