Duck Duck Cougar?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
