To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
