Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
