It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize