My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
