We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
