By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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