I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Say something about gay babies.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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