I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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