whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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