The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize