I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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