I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
