I cannot find my penis.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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