Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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