I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
