If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
