yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
