I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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