Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
