woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
