I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
