Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Hippo gnu deer
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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