Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize