we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
