it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
