It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
