Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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