I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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