he puts the penis in happiness.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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