I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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