There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
