Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
