I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
