New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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