DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
