FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
